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Yahoo! or, How Bad Can it Get?

I would be happy to subscribe to this excellent publication, but I find the Yahoo sign-in process infuriatingly intrusive and non-reciprocal. It absolutely armors itself against receiving any feedback from users, insists on having personal information to profile me for future harassment with unwanted announcements, has the gall to reject my username -- which I am certain is unique -- as already claimed, and is generally too bossy and authoritarian to deal with.

But thanks for putting out a publication which accords feminism and women the dignity and seriousness they deserve, and does so with relevant, literate articles and a beautifully clean and usable web site.
Twiss Butler

I am very interested in the content of your site and would like to sign up for your email messages, but I have a problem with joining any service connected with Yahoo!

I used to have a Yahoo! account, and I have closed it. I discovered that Yahoo! maintains groups that promote incest and other sexual abuse, including drug-facilitated rape. I checked it out myself, so I know it is the case. One message I read in part was a man asking for advice on how he could obtain chloroform, or if he could make it, and in what dosage it should be administered. (He received responses to his questions from others who apparently have more experience in using drugs to accomplish rape. These clubs are very helpful.)

In closing my Yahoo! account, I sent them a letter detailing my reason for dissociating myself from them, and I am publicizing their support of these clubs everywhere I can. I fully understand free speech issues, but these people are criminals, promoting criminal behavior. It's not a pornography or morals issue either, although I personally feel pornography is exploitation. But this is a matter of Yahoo! collaborating and supporting a training ground and network for rapists and molesters. In good conscience, I can't link myself with Yahoo! in any capacity, or rest until they stop providing these criminals with a forum.
Debra Cagwin

Dear all, We got many complaints after we suggested in our last issue that readers sign up on Said It’s Yahoo email list to receive notification about new issues. Thanks for all your feedback. We disliked Yahoo before, but did not realize how truly appalling it is. To receive announcements without Yahoo (and its ads), please email us at and ask to be added to our “in-house” announcement list.-- eds.

Sex, Feminism, the Leftist Media

Your piece "Sex and Feminism: Who Is Being Silenced?" was wonderful. Thanks so much for stating clearly the problem with left media. I do a lot of traditional left writing (on the economy and foreign policy) along with anti-pornography/violence writing, and I know first-hand what you are talking about. Great work, and thanks again.
Bob Jensen
School of Journalism
University of Texas, Austin

I just read your piece about leftist publications and rad feminism, and I had to write. It was fantastic! I loved the analogy of vegetarians being “anti-appetite” (if the Left's comparison of radical feminists being “anti-sex” is applied consistently).

Your opening paragraph lays it on the line and calls the Left on what we both know is a huge problem: their still male-dominated sexual identity. It is actually brilliant marketing and media strategy that allows the Left to portray porn and prostitution as somehow revolutionary (even though it completely preserves the status quo), and to censor our voices.

Isn't it amazing how much of a threat we can be, how much dangerous influence we can wield, when we are not even heard from in the media?

Great issue!
Kim McCarten

To whom it may concern:

Ms. Sere trims the facts. Her brand of radical feminists have refused to debate pro-sexual feminists time after time. Check out the following: This is the face you present to our world.
Bobbie Sellers

Ms. Sere responds: Thanks for your input, Bobbie, as well as your efforts to fight, within the system, for the rights of prostitutes. Still, it doesn’t appear to me, based on your account, that “your side” was excluded, certainly not the way radical feminists are completely excluded from leftist and liberal media, which is what I was critiquing. Poor planning for one panel among many during this symposium -- where inclusion of “both sides” was emphasized throughout -- may have led to unfairness in this one instance, but there was no intentional eclipsing of your point of view from the debate.

Dear Friends,

I am Emily Cahilog of the GABRIELA International Relations Department. I am also the National Coordinator of the Purple Rose Campaign in the Philippines. I have come across your website in my search for updates on the issue of sex trafficking. Please allow me to extend our appreciation, in behalf of GABRIELA Philippines and the GABRIELA international network, on your efforts to support our campaign to expose and oppose sex trafficking of Filipino women and children through your website.
Sincerely yours,
Emily P Cahilog

Eclipsed and Censored Women Artists

What a great magazine! I was mesmerized by the paintings by Artemesia and feel quite cheated to have never heard of her before. "Artemisia Gentileschi: On Her Own Terms" Thank you for the work you do.
Brita Butler-Wall

I have just recently discovered Said It and I really love the website! I love the articles and the different perspective. I just read the article about the censorship of Madonna (“Madonna Denied the Right to Rage”) and realized that as much as I love Madonna, I have been really apathetic to the fact that she had been censored. I am one of the few people who saw the video and I couldn't understand what the big deal was. It was just a video.

I just wanted to say thank you all for taking the time to make an impact on my life.
Melinda Williams

Clueless and Ignorant

Dear Said It,

In general I've liked your web site, but I'm having second thoughts after reading this (“An Election, a Coup, and a Story”" by Adriene Sere):

“After years of ‘impotency’ against the all-powerful Republicans, the liberal-left finally asserted its will with success -- in this case, not to knock out Nader, but to save Clinton's position as president. The liberal-left also achieved its goal of ending official investigation into Clinton's ‘sex’ life which, according to his accusers, included rape, sexual harassment, flashing of a state employee in a closed hotel room, and ‘consensual’ sexual exploitation of a young intern.”

I strongly suggest you read "The Hunting of the President" by Joe Conason and Gene Lyons, and tell me after you read it, just exactly why you support the “official investigation into Clinton's ‘sex’ life.” I can't believe that you would dignify the collusion between the right-wing media and far-right nut jobs as an "official investigation," without a trace of irony.

I mean, do you seriously characterize Ken Starr's successful campaign to humiliate Clinton by making public vivid descriptions of Clinton's TOTALLY CONSENSUAL sex life (even Ken Starr couldn't prove otherwise no matter how many dirty tricks he used, nor witnesses he intimidated) and then Clinton's IMPEACHMENT as the results of “The liberal-left ... (achieving) its goal of ending official investigation??” That was the achievement of the goal of ending the ‘official’ investigation??? If that was the fucking achievement, what the fuck would have been the results had we not achieved this alleged goal? Clinton's public execution??? Would that make you and Ken Starr happy?

Just how clueless and ignorant are you??? Please read the book before you bother to retort.
Nancy McClernan

Adriene Sere responds: Perhaps I will one day understand this identification on the part of so many liberal feminists with Bill Clinton -- alleged rapist, sexual harasser, de-womanizer, phony populist, welfare-slasher, pro-corporate trader, and like Osama Bin Laden, a terrorist and murderer of thousands of innocent civilians. Apparently he is a charming and handsome guy, however, and according to these feminists, the most important thing in the world is that Bill Clinton should not be “humiliated” by Ken Starr.

I can think of more important things to be concerned about. If the liberal-left had organized with integrity and commitment around issues that matter -- rather than mobilizing in full force to save Clinton’s position for the small amount of time he had left in office -- I don't believe we would be calling George W. Bush “President” right now.

I never supported Ken Starr’s anti-feminist, politically motivated campaign against Clinton any more than I support the male-identified, politically retarded defense of Clinton on the part of liberal feminists. I couldn’t care less if Ken Starr had a “successful campaign to humiliate Clinton,” especially since Clinton’s sex life consists of humiliating women. I do care that Ken Starr’s campaign succeeded in getting the liberal-left to engage in a battle with him.

I also never claimed the liberal-left’s effort to save Clinton had instantaneous results. The lengthy mobilization saved Clinton from removal from office, not -- obviously -- from impeachment. It gradually helped put an end to the media’s coverage of the conjured-up drama around Monica Lewinsky. Unfortunately, it also served to legitimize the lack of media investigation and coverage of the highly credible rape accusations against Clinton, including the one made by Juanita Broaddrick And finally, it helped render the independent counsel’s investigation meaningless. As Senator Orrin Hatch said, “I just don't see keeping it alive any longer, and I don't think there's a jury in America that is going to convict President Clinton.” Not for lying, not for violence against women, and not for terrorism. So, if the goal of the liberal-left was to save Clinton, the all-out effort was successful. Congratulations. In the meantime, we now have an unelected president who is successfully turning much of what remains of this country’s democracy on its head. And for some reason, these truly frightening, anti-democratic maneuvers haven’t elicited the same kind of frenzied objections that Ken Starr’s persecution of poor Bill Clinton did. Something to think about.

Moms Speak Out

Awesome article (“Who's looking out for Moms”). I am currently going through a custody dispute because I applied to move out of state with my son to give us a better life. I am finding out that there is no one out there to help me. I have an attorney but he is only available at certain times of the day. The father is messing with my entire life and I don't know what to do. So the article hits home. I am really tired of Friend of the Court doing nothing in support of the Mother or the child. Tired of dead beat dads who have a million excuses on why they chose to not pay child support, put medical coverage on the child and many other scenarios that we are all familiar with. It is time that we all come together and form an organization to protect those of us who have held up to our responsiblities and to help our children have better lives.

Could you imagine leaving an abusive man and four or five years later, having him forced back into your life? Having an abusive, drug addicted father dragged into your children’s lives. If you believe that welfare reform stopped give-away programs to parents, you are wrong. All that is happening is that money is taken out of food stamp programs and AFDC programs to benefit fathers.

The government seems to think that federal money can turn abusive, dysfunctional men into angels. I don't know how others feel about all this, but I find it offensive.

This site goes into how money for the poor and other monies from other programs are being used to promote fatherhood.
Susan Denny
Director of Bringing The Children Home

FYI, Women’s Enews has published some excellent articles especially of interest to single moms, including: “Biased Family Court System Hurts Mothers” by Garland Waller, and “Experts: Kids Most Need Resources, Stable Home” by Cindy Richards There are links to resources at the end of the articles.-- eds.

Dear Sir or Madam,

Unfortunately more and more children are victims of divorce. I am happy to see that divorced fathers are playing a more active role in their children's lives. However, we still lack a lot of information. My marriage ended when my daughter was only 6 weeks old. My husband moved 900 miles away. When I spoke to specialists (family law, mediators etc.) they all agreed it was preferable for the father to see her often for short periods, but since he lived so far away, it was unrealistic. So my daughter went to see her father once a month for a full weekend. It was hard for her in the beginning but I thought it would get better. By the time she was 15 months she reacted very badly. She stopped eating, she stopped talking, she stopped walking and started to crawl again. I therefore took her to see a child psychologist. She explained to me that she was too young for long overnight visits. Between 0 and 27 months there should not be overnight visits. Between 12 and 18 months is the most critical time where you can really damage the child psychologically and sometimes permanently. Joint custody should only be considered after three years of age. So please advise the non-custodial parent not to move to another country. Tell them to see their children very often. If they are a parent of a young baby help them understand that the baby needs to be with their primary caregiver daily. As the child gets a little older (27-36 month) you can start overnight visits. Start gradually, let the child get accustomed slowly to spending longer periods of time with the non-custodial parent. Both parents are equally important to a child, but at different periods of their lives. Sometimes, both parents have good intentions, but due to lack of available information, we make terrible mistakes that affect our children's lives. Cooperation and teamwork is very important when it comes to children. When I tried to speak to my husband about the behavioral difficulties our baby was going through, he presumed that I was trying to keep the baby from him, while I worried that he must have abused or neglected our baby.

Please advise divorced parents to see a child pychologist, and never presume.

P. S. I have very high regards for men who love their children and are actively involved in their lives. My own father is very important to me and I couldn't imagine life without him. But I beg for every loving father and mother of a child under three years old, who is going through a divorce to see a child psychologist, or at the very least to read about “attachment disorder.”

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